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Blue Mirages

Introduction

This short story is a exploration of unrequited love and the emotional turmoil that comes with it. Set in the familiar backdrop of a college campus, Shakthi navigates a whirlwind of emotions when she unexpectedly encounters Yuva, a senior she harbors deep feelings for. The story delves into the inner conflict of holding on to unspoken feelings while grappling with the painful reality that those affections will never be returned.

Amid casual conversations and playful exchanges, the short story captures the bittersweet tension of wanting something that isn’t meant to be. Shakthi’s emotions unravel further as she overhears a conversation that cements her heartbreak. 

I had just completed my project work at home and was on my way to college for the third review. As I was en route, my phone rang—Parthu was calling. “Your guy is here,” she said. It had been a while since I’d last seen Yuva, ever since he finished college. A flurry of emotions hit me; I hoped he was still single. I quickly asked Parthu to sneak and send me some pictures, and soon enough, they arrived. There he was, in a blue and green checked shirt paired with blue jeans—still as stylish as ever.

I hurriedly got out of the car, making up a quick excuse to my driver, who watched my rushed exit. I told her I needed to see some friends and darted inside the campus. Near the admission office, I spotted Parthu and Vishnu, both grinning at me. They subtly nodded in Yuva’s direction with their eyes. 

There he was, waiting near the principal’s office. My heart raced as I approached him, trying to keep my emotions in check. “Hello, senior!” I greeted him, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, because he looked startled. He turned to see who it was and smiled—a generic smile he gave to everyone. We chatted briefly about how things were going and how my project was progressing. He seemed genuinely interested, but then the principal called him in. “Okay then, Ma’am’s calling me. I’ll take my leave,” he said. I offered to wait, pretending that my project review could wait because my guide was “on leave” (he wasn’t).

As I waited in the reception area, Parthu came up behind me, curious about what had happened. I said that Yuva was just collecting his certificates and that I was waiting for him. Asking about the review, reminded me that Chandra Sir was known for grilling students during presentations. I brushed it off, saying I had plenty of time and could handle it. My mind, however, was elsewhere, preoccupied with the wallpaper on Yuva’s phone—a picture of holding hands, clearly taken with a Snapchat filter. Parthu noticed my distraction and teased me, saying my heart was in the principal’s office.

Finally, Yuva came out, looking a bit weary. He approached me, commenting on my patience. I mumbled, “Anything for you,” but quickly changed it to, “Anything for my senior,” when he asked me to repeat myself. We laughed it off, and I invited him to lunch. He hesitated for a moment but then agreed.

As we walked, Parthu shouted something, making me blush. Thankfully, Yuva didn’t notice. At lunch, we sat opposite each other. He told me about his life—doing content creation on Instagram and working at some company. I barely listened, my mind fixated on that wallpaper. Gathering my courage, I asked if he was in a relationship, half-hoping he’d deny it. But his face reddened, confirming my fears. He showed me a picture of Bhanu, his girlfriend, and spoke about how different and special she was.

I forced myself to stay composed, though my heart ached. Thoughts swirled in my mind: *”Glad you found someone special, but why not me? Did I fail to make you feel anything? Where did it go wrong?”* As I washed my hands, tears blurred my vision, not just from the realization that he was with someone else, but also because I saw the contact picture when Bhanu called—of them kissing.

A call from Bhanu came through, and Yuva put it on speaker. I overheard her saying, “You know she’s trying for you, and you’re still in touch with her? Are you insane? Just leave her ASAP.” Yuva laughed it off, reassuring her that he had told me he was hers. My heart sank further, feeling guilty for harboring feelings for someone who was clearly committed to someone else. Yuva didn’t know I was listening to their conversation as he sat facing the canteen entrance.

After the call ended, I approached Yuva, forcing a smile. “Okay then, got some work to do. Meet you later. Don’t forget to call me for your wedding,” I said, trying to sound casual. He smiled, “Not too early though.” His smile was like a dagger to my already bleeding heart. I quickly left the canteen, feeling like a loser in love.

Outside, I sat on one of the college’s large benches, staring at the ground, questioning where I went wrong. Parthu found me, asking if everything was alright. I lied, saying it was. She scolded me, “Don’t call me Parthu, it’s Parvathi. People are mis-gendering me because of that name.” I managed a weak smile, saying I liked the nickname.

Parthu hugged me tightly, saying, “Don’t ask me any questions, just felt like I needed to reassure you that you are special.” That broke the dam. We cried together for the next 15 minutes, letting out all the unspoken pain and sorrow.

 

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